ex

matagal tayong nagkasama. it's not a choice. it's a must.

school mates tayo nung college. at isa ka sa mga kinikilalang "tower of power" ng school. ako, just a mere student na nakakasabay mo sa elevator sa pag akyat sa 8th floor every morning. whenever i would see you, you would smile. seldom did we talk kaya nga nung naging muse ako ng school, i didn't expect na kilala mo pala ako.

life went on until we had our jobs. One day, when i reached home from Christian Academy of Manila (previous school na pinagturuan ko), may nag text (yes, si vice ganda lang...). natatandaan ko ang cellphone ko nun....5110 (may ganun pa kaya ngayon?-chaka ha =D). anyways, ang sabi sa message....jill! musta ka na? ms udmc ng buhay ko....nagtaka namana ko. tumawag si bestfriend sa akin after that, telling me na nagkita daw kayo, nagkumustahan at ang ending, hiningi mo number ko sa kanya.

we were both so naive then. your sweet messages made me smile pero hindi ko hinayaan na kiligin ako. bakit? kasi nandyan na si honey. natatandaan mo pa ba yung song na "bakit ngayon ka lang?" - kadiri yung song na yun pero naka-relate ako. sa mga exchange natin ng text messages, nalaman ko na college pa lang crush na crush mo na ako...that you were just waiting and praying for the right time para maging tayo kasi nung college, hindi ka pwede magka girlet dahil nanghihingi ka pa ng pera sa magulang mo at hindi mo yun pwedeng gastusin pang date. we compliment each other. carry mo ako. i mean, not all people can bend me but you were one of those. nasa yo ang lahat na magugustuhan ng isang babae sa isang lalake. looks, money, voice, sweetness, spiritual - complete package. ang problema, hindi pwede kasi may mahal akong iba.

until the time came when we broke up. i didn't know if it was right but you were my shock absorber. my crying shoulder. we became closer. we dated. masaya. perfect. but, you have to go away. you have to leave for the greener pasture. and so you went. pero before you left, nangako ka sa akin....two years. two years ka lang dun then babalikan mo ako dito sa pinas at magpapakasal tayo....

the communication went on. walang friendster, walang facebook. pero may yahoo.... one month. two months. napakatagal ng panahon. until such time na wala na akong balita sa yo. anung nangyari? your bestfriend decided to give me your password sa yahoo para may nalalaman ko kung anong update sa yo. with that, i discovered, ang dami na palang babae na nage email sa yo. i discovered na yung bestfriend mo pala ay may gusto din sa kin kaya ka nya sinisiraan (shocks...haba ng hair!). i would never forget his tag line....alam mo ba yung movie na Pearl Harbor? gusto ko maging ganun tayo.... (huwat?????!!!)

and so time time goes by...five years. you came back. you texted me...how did you know my number? hindi ko alam pero you texted me that you were back. i was with my co-workers at morong rizal at natatandaan ko pa yung kinakain namin habang binabasa ko ang message mo at natitigilan ako...mainit na sinigang na baboy (napaso ako nun kaya natandaan ko). we saw each other several days after message sent (anu daw???). akala ko, sweet pa rin tayo...tayo pa di ba? hehe....hindi na. things were very different. actually, opposite would be more appropriate. things were the opposite.

i managed to talk to you, text you, call you but you were always out of reach. ayaw mong makipag usap. busy ka. out of town. may lakad. the most unacceptable news that i got when you came back is that you went out of town with somebody for days. i got the message (hindi naman kasi ako tanga) were done. you've changed. the civilization in the US changed you. i let you go. it's the right thing to do.

i got married two years after you left. i can still hear your voice telling me, i want to go home and be with you. pag umuwi ba ako at kinuha kita, sasama ka. wag kang magpakasal. akala ko ba tayo ang magpapakasal? you said those words as if ako pa ang may kasalanan kung bakit hindi tayo ang magkakatuluyan. you were crying. i felt the pain but i can't do anything about it anymore. its you who pushed me away.

after six years, here you go again...bakit pa ba kailangan kitang makita? para makipag break ako? isn't it obvious? para makita mo kung masaya ako? i am happy. are you? para makipag-ayos? well....

were done. tama na.