Friday, December 30, 2011

1 cm

1 cm... was the only phrase i remembered after my internal exam. i was thrilled at the same time anxious. my last pregnancy was via CS. after series of tests and screening, my doctor finally decided to try vbac (vaginal birth after cesarean). minsan nga, she would refer it as vdac (vaginal delivery after cesarean) kaya confused ako. ano ba dapat, vbac or vdac? (ma-google nga =D)

anyways, why am i so anxious when i had a normal delivery before? well, because on my last nsd (normal spontaneous delivery), i was drowned with anesthesia during my delivery. as a result, nung episiorraphy na (repair of the episiotomy - the cut made between the vagina and the anus) i can feel the needle and the suture being pulled. ang sakit! grabe!

sana this one will be different. dawn will be going out anytime now. aog= 38 weeks, 4 days =D

Monday, May 16, 2011

buntis101

so, eto na nga at buntis na naman ako. i thought that every woman can be used to being pregnant. hindi pala talaga. every pregnancy is unique (parang tao lang). akala ko, once you get used to it, it'll be easier at your end. hindi rin. back to zero talaga ang paghihirap ng bawat nanay na nabubuntis. so, eto ang mga cravings, wishes, hopes, negaS ko lately:

1. siguro nagtataka sila rose, boi, lester, aj, joicy, bab kung bakit hindi pa ako naga-upload ng pictures....well, super duper tamad ako mag internet. ang radiation parang kryptonite ko. nakakahilo...hay....

2. gusto ko ng chicharon. nung binilan ako ni allan, tinikman ko lang tapos ayaw ko na...hehe

3. bully ako. last, last night.... 3x naligo si allan dahil ayaw ko ng amoy ng soap na ginamit nya

4. less ang patience ko...kawawang rain at summer

5. naiinis ako sa lasa ng anmum....waaaaa!

6. hindi ako makapaglaba....amoy pa lang ng ariel suko na ako

7. nagpadala yung friend ni allan sa kanya ng madaming fishda, ang problema hindi ko mabuksan ang freezer dahil hindi ko gusto ang amoy

8. lahat mabaho. pati pabango. pati sarili kong flatulence! ahahaha. kadiri!

9. kahapon, pinagalitan ko si contact lens (yung aso naming may cataract) kasi buntis na naman...sabi ko, ikaw malandi ka, buntis ka na naman....i forgot pati pala ako buntis. kaya ang sabi ko sa dulo....gaya gaya kang aso ka!

10. wala akong gustong kainin except fruits. tapos after awhile isusuka ko din. di ba ang saya?

ayan, top ten na lang muna...nahihilo na naman ako. kenis!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

gift



because i always feel awful and has always been tending a very nasty headache if i smell something i don't like, i decided to take my test....

......and there you go!

God's gift to me on mother's day.

oh i love it! =D

Thank you Lord! =D

NOTE: rain told me last night that i should just finish his milk because his baby brother is inside my tummy and the baby might be hungry =D

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

pera

honestly, they look like play money for me
my first set of the new bill
have you seen the new set of philippine money? i did. although allan told me that it is equipped with more security features to detect if it fake or not, i honestly don't like it. they look like more of a play money for me. peace for the designer! =D

so there, did these new set of money made me happier? hay ewan! =D

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

post


my ever sweet hubby woke me up with this on his hands as he was busy kissing me. i feel asleep with my kutings while waiting for him and so, he re heated dinner and woke me up. it was one of the sweetest things he did for me. definitely belongs to the top ten.

thanks honey. =D i love you back!

***joicy, eto na yun! =D see yah.

Monday, May 2, 2011

class

rain's 3rd day of summer class, April 29, 2011

the usual morning routine happened. we arrived at exactly 9am because dad didn't drop us at school. we have to ride a tricycle two times (which i didn't know that the tricycle can actually drop us off at the school entrance, my mistake). 

the door was kept closed for the whole hour. am glad to see the development in my son's separation anxiety. at least he can survive with the doors closed for a long period. i too managed to chit chat with some of the mothers that were waiting for their kids. i felt comfortable. but...it ended when a boy from rain's class suddenly went out of the room. he has furious and was crying so loud. he was mumbling i think but i clearly heard his words. he said to his mother ..."sinipsip ng classmate ko yung bear brand ko, mama. at inubos nya" (my classmate took a sip from my bear brand and he finished it). i felt restless...could it be rain????

my intuition ended when their teacher together with rain came outside. i was drowning with shame. i wish that sometimes, i really have this magic stick with me and i could just vanish and disappear whenever these things would happen. 

i talked to rain after class. i didn't say any word from him when we were at the school because i don't want to confront him in front of his classmates. here's the conversation as it came vivid to me when i was writing this:

mom: why did you do that? why did you got your classmate's juice?
rain: i am thirsty mom
mom: but you have your own juice
rain: yes, but i like bear brand
mom: what did you say to your classmate? did he share it with you?
rain: i told him it's good to share. God loves people who share....

God loves people who share.so what i am now, a judgmental mom? my goodness =D

Saturday, April 30, 2011

class

rain's second day of summer class : April 28, 2011

we arrived at school 10 minutes before the time. summer was not with me so i felt free. i bought my favorite book which has been a traditional habit. it's follow your heart by andrew matthews. i felt excited for the day =D am free!

rain was as usual, very active with the singing and dancing activities. after that, their study time. as they were studying, their teacher told us moms who were waiting for our kids, that she has to close the door. everybody of course agreed. the moment the door was shut close, i began forwarding text messages to my friends. after that, i began reading. as i was reading, i noticed that on my peripheral view, some moms were starring at me. i felt awkward. i gaze at them too, my face was serious and i was like asking them....what is your problem man???? is this your first time to see a beautiful woman reading (as in naka-insert pa talaga yung beautiful! i love myself =D)

my freedom ended when, after one and a half hour, rain came out of the room. he was crying! i asked him why....he didn't answer me clearly. he was mumbling about crayons and paper. the teacher called my attention and asked me to go inside the room. (oh no! this is too early for office detention programs!!!!).

what happened? my baby boy wanted to go out. his teacher explained to him that he can't go outside and he has to stay at the room because it's study time. what rain did is that he threw the crayons and paper to his teacher.

i was perplexed.

i talked to rain when the class was over. he said sorry to his teacher. he told me that he will not do it again.and, he promised....i just hope his promise was not made to be broken =D

Friday, April 29, 2011

personal

i met krista when she was in third year college at BSU. i didn't personally know her as i am a very strict instructor then. i was only interested in my student's name and class standing. but, there came a time that we became text mates. well since i became a mom, my text life has decreased and i only get to hold my cellphone whenever necessary. but whenever i can and i'm free, were text mates. text mates until the time that summer was confined to the ICU for a month.  the text messages made us closer and a time came when she called me "ninang" and i called her "anak".

and because of our closeness, my husband and i decided to make her one of summer's godmother. a fairy godmother indeed. this is to show my beloved anak how thankful i am of having her in summer's life. love you anak! thanks for always being there. 

krista on summer's first birthday =D

ninang krista's gift

thanks ninang! =D she loves this

class

because it is rain's first time to go to school, my mom gave me a cute notebook that will serve as a my "note" book on how rain started his first week in class. i told her that i have my own diary. she asked me where and i showed her my "first time". i told her it's my blog and it's where i write anything and everything that i want to =D

my topic for this time is about rain's summer class.

DAY 1 - april 27, 2011. Wednesday.

i know that i have to let Rain sleep early the night before his class. Rain is a night person like his dad that he can stay up to 1am if i can just let him do that. i remember that every time our "personalized" spa massager will come here at home, he would not sleep early and can he stay awake as long as we are. and so, i cut his habit of going to sleep every 10pm to 8pm for a week. presto! it worked. the following day, as early as 6:30am, my rain is awake. wide awake =D

one thing i learned from the book about toddlers and preschoolers is that, to be an effective preschooler, you must condition the mind of the child. so, i oriented Rain a month before his summer class. i told him that he will be going to school and he will sing, draw, write, dance, exercise, etc there. i think its effective though because Rain looked forward of being in big school.

so came the first day. we arrived at Christ view for Kids, 10 minutes before 9am. the place, as expected, was full of kids. Rain was welcomed by his teachers. when i led him to his room, he was so anxious. he embraced my leg and told me that he was afraid. i embraced him (no, not his leg =D) and told him that it's okay to be afraid but i will be outside the room and i will be waiting for him there. i kissed him then led him to his room for the second time. it worked when he saw his classmates standing there, waiting for the National Anthem song. as expected, he was not able to follow the Lupang Hinirang song (which i sing to him every morning) but it was fine with me. i know that he'll get used to it.

for the whole period, Rain came out of the room thrice. most of the time, he would gaze outside and check if i am still there. summer was with me and when summer saw the kids, she began asking me if she can go inside the room also. when i told her "no", that's when my problem started. summer was crying loudly outside the building as rain came over to check me. when he saw summer crying, as if pinched to make me crazy, he cried too. i have two crying kids with me and i didn't know what to do. waaaa!!!!

the class started out with a prayer, songs, then the lesson proper. one of the problems that i encountered was when Rain refused to do his seat work. he was supposed to color an apple but i can see that his attention span wasn't that long. when he colored the drawings made by his teacher, he strokes the crayons without looking at the drawings. with that, i asked myself it Rain is really ready for the big school. he's only three years old.

at the end of the day, i was happy because i now have my official two-hour free time to text (social life!) or  have a two hour reading a book which i definitely will bring one tomorrow. i was also ambivalent that my baby boy is now going to school (here we go again with my separation anxiety). perhaps, what he told me inside the bath room before he went to school added up to my separation anxiety. he told me, "mom, can i bathe myself?"awwwww....... my dad fetch us at 11am. never have to worry about the traffic =D

Thursday, April 28, 2011

tigdas

measles vaccination, as advocated by our very own DOH, is a demonstration of love by the parents to their children. true. and so, to be able to reach out to every children in the country, the Department of Health (DOH) has launch a month-long nationwide measles rubella vaccination campaign covering children aged between nine months and eight years starting april 4.


barangay health workers and nurses will census each household and check for age groups that are included in the vaccination program.


very good DOH! keep up the good work =D


rain and summer's "iligtas sa tigdas" cards
*** with this, naalala ko si krista. ang aking inaanak na nursing graduate na ngayon ay nagsisilbi bilang community health nurse sa bulacan. when i saw the bhwS, tumaas ang tingin ko sa kanila kasi kahit na sobrang init ng araw, naglalakad sila at nagce census para lang matiyak na nakatanggap ng bakuna lahat ng mga batang kasali. mabuhay ka anak! =D mabuhay ang mga bhw at nurses! =D

addiction

aside from rose's mogu-mogu, i can't forget the time that my first year students gave me bake & churn's ice cream cake.with that, i fell in love with it. am not really a chocolate lover (in fact, i don't usually eat chocolate cakes) but i was surprised when my taste buds became indulged in bake and churn's rocky road ice cream cake that up to the last serving, i was still yearning =D

because of that, a cake addiction developed...i am now an avid fan of bake & churn's ice cream cakes. i tried one of their best sellers and oh....it was awesomely yummy!!!




bake & churn's facebook page says that in every cake, the consumer will "experience the best of both worlds! two of our favorite desserts were combined into one". for the ice cream cake, it may either be cake log (Php180-230) or cake dome (Php 500-530) (but they per slice when you eat it at their outlet at Php30).

variations for the cakes be found at: http://www.mysnowjoe.com/products.php?category=12

so hence, my verdict:

5 spoons =D

Monday, April 25, 2011

chicken




craving for a singaporean food in the metro? you will get it! thanks for my recent top of the list favorite singaporean chicken rice at shopwise cubao. never have to go to singapore to taste one!

chicken rice there, i think, was marinated in pure chicken broth with several spices. the chicken was soft and juicy and it was served with green and red sauce, the ginger and the chili. meet them! =D

the HAINANESE sauce
first impression lasts. cliche, i know but... eradicate that thought when you meet the rice serving. why? rice there don't look inviting and impressively pleasant but once you taste it, you'll forget about how it looked like. the chicken rice meal is only Php99! good deal! =D

hmmm....juicy. i'm not a chicken lover but i can be =D
the smell and taste of the chicken made my day. for our food exploring adventure, meet NASI LEMAK. it looks like our traditional pancit but the taste is different. how different? oh, just try it! here's a teaser:

when i saw this, i was thinking if i can cook it =D
the day will not be complete if i will not try their Dinosaur monkey drink. actually it has two variations. dinosaur monkey drink is different because it has 3 slices of banana. just try the Dinasaur drink. it's just the same. i actually want to try this drink at home. it sure looks good and easy to make!

milo sya actually with banana =D
so there you go. as i said, never have to go to singapore to taste a singaporean chicken. filipino chicken kaya meron ding menu? =D

Sunday, April 24, 2011

bored

i found this one somewhere and because i was freaking bored the other day, i had the chance to answer the question. well lets see...



1. Real name : Jelina Saoit - Contreras
 2. Nickname(s) : Jill
3. Fav. color : pink and green (teen-age days, violet) =D
4. Male or female : bakla
 5. Elementary School : bnes 1
6. Middle School : mist
7. High School : mist
8. College : udmc/mist
9. Hair Color : black 
10. Tall or Short : tall
11. Sweats or Jeans : Jeans!
12. Phone or Camera : BOTH, well...i can live without my cp but not without my camera...pero both pa rin =D
13. Health freak : sometimes. am a nurse kasi
14. Orange or Apple : apple - an apple a day keeps the doctor away 
15. Do you have a crush on someone : meron naman....si adam sandler and of course, brad pitt
16. Eat or Drink : Drink
17. Piercings : Ears
18. Pepsi or Coke : melon and buko shake

HAVE YOU EVER?
19. Been in an airplane : yep!
20. Been in a relationship : OO! 
21. Been in a car accident : Does trike count? yep. (fell down in a trike when i was in HS. ay tanga! =D)
22. Been in a fist fight : not yet, sabunutan oo...dati...
23. First piercing : EARS LANG TALAGA. KULIT MO! 
24. Best friend(s): aileen and my hubby
25. First award : best in spelling bee, 2nd place (bitter ako nyan because i was a second placer...but quoting morrie....what's wrong with being the second??? =D)
26. First crush : gosh....
27. First word: MAMA.
28.Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius....and i don't swim alone (bwahaha)
29. Last person you texted : adriel joseph pacis =D
30. Last person you talked to: atty allan contreras =D
31. Last person you watched a movie with : allan - Just go with it (jen aniston and adam sandler)
32. Last food you ate : beef nilaga 
33. Last movie you watched : Just go with it
34. Last song you listened to : I will cast all my burdens upon you - rain and summer's song lately
35. Last thing you bought :  chocolate mousse from bake and churn
37. Food : anything...hindi naman ako choosy =D
38. Drink : COFFEEEEEEE!
39. Bottoms : Shorts. :))
40. Flower : roses and ilang ilang
41. Animal : DOGS
42. Color/s : 98 truths nlang to! paulit-ulit ka =D
43. Movie : twilight series
44. Subject : elementary statistics...naks!

HAVE YOU EVER:
(Put an X in the brackets if yes)
45. [x] fallen in love with someone.
46. [x] celebrated Halloween.
47. [x] had your heart broken.
48. [x] went over the minutes/texts on your cell phone.
49. [x] had someone like you
51. [x] got pregnant. 
52. [  ] had an abortion. 
53. [x] did something I regret.
54. [x] broke a promise.
55. [x] hid a secret.
56. [x] pretended to be happy.
57. [x] met someone who changed your life.
58. [  ] pretended to be sick.
59. [x] left the country.
60. [x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it.
61. [x] cried over the silliest thing.
62. [x] ran a mile.
63. [x} went to the beach with your best friend.
64. [x] got into an argument with your friends.
65. [x] disliked someone.
66. [  ] stayed single for 2 years since the first time you had a boyfriend/girlfriend.

CURRENTLY:
67. Eating : secret! =D
68. Drinking : Coffee
69. Listening : rain and summer's snore
70. Sitting/Laying : sitting
71. Plans for today: sleep then wake up early tomorrow
72. Waiting for: sign =D

YOUR FUTURE:
73. Want kids : yes. Twins. :)
74. Want to get married : i am....but again?....i'll think about it =D ahahaha
75. Career : educator and manager 
76. Lips or eyes : eyes =D
77. Shorter or Taller : taller =D
78. Romantic or spontaneous : Romantic and spontaneous
81. Hook-up or relationship : Relationship
82. Looks or personality: Personality 

HAVE YOU EVER:
83. Lost glasses/contacts : nope. i've a perfect vision =D
84. Snuck out of a house : not yet...i'm a good girl
85. Held a gun/knife for self defense : not yet, but i threw water on my friend's face the last time we talked (she became my dad's other woman =D)
86. Killed somebody: malapit na.
87. Broken someone's heart : Oo ata....
88. Been in love : sooooobraaaaa!
89. Cried when someone died : May mata naman ako so... YES.


DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 
90. Yourself : yep. encouraging yourself sometimes is essential =D
91. Miracles: Oo.
92. Love at first sight : oo, pwede ring second sight...any sight....
93. Heaven : POSITIVE :D
94. Santa Clause : nope. mommy ko sya eh. 
95. Aliens: Yes. i'm one of them =D
96. Ghosts : Yes. I used to be one. :))


TRUTHFULLY:
97. Is there one person you really want to be with right now : none. am with him already
98. Do you know who your real friends are : Sure. I know more than that :D
100. Post as 100 truths : ok fine =D


....at eto na nga...one hundred truths daw to...

the end =D

dose

my daily dose of love....


it's from my hubby allan. every morning, i get to be reminded of how much he loves me....i was surprised the first morning he set the alarm. it was so sweet. =D i didn't know that my cellphone was set to alarm everyday. now i'm used to it. thanks honey for the love! i love you back.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

pal

my first airplane ride was still vivid to me. it was last may 2000. ang tagal na....what airline? of course, philippine airlines. we were on our way to boracay and i was so overwhelmed with the experience kahit na hindi pa sya international flight. that made me dream and pursuit to have an international flight someday. i did. =D

just awhile ago, while i was surfing the net, i saw this video. nagandahan ako so i decided to upload it here. it is very informative and useful for first time "flyers" and "long time flyers" who are tired looking at the stewardess demonstrate the use of life vests, buckling up seat belts, etc. allan told me that it is the philippine airline's counter video to the cebu pacific's belly dancing video from the you tube. i hope you will like this guys. happy flying!





Monday, April 18, 2011

two-e







love talaga ako ng mga students ko =D

sa aking pinakalast day (sasabihin na naman ni AJ at joicy, last daw na naman???!-ahaha) sa BSU, may ever favorite two-e gave me a surprise party. as in na surprise naman talaga ako since ang akala ko talaga ay may community service sila (at, hindi ako nagtaka na lahat sila me community service???- oo nga noh?)...at nou'y naglilinis lang ng nal 5 room. natuwa ako ng sobra and of course, i felt so loved again. parang lindol lang ng Japan ang nangyari. ang daming after shock surprises ang pag-alis ko sa BSU.

sa totoo lang, overwhelmed ako sa class na ito..you know, two-e i think has lost its credibility when it comes to class team work. ayon sa mga naririnig ko, madalas divided sila. hindi magkasundo. to each its own. nagre-request pa nga daw sila ng "re-shuffle" sa susunod na semester.... nagulat na lang ako ng makita ko sila as a team. good job two-e! kaya nyo naman pala eh....

so, for the link, pakitingnan na lang ang pictures namin sa facebook ko. nagmistulang debut party ko ang surprise nila at talagang overwhelmed ako to the max. i so love you guys!

love  letters from my lovely students
dear mam...
more....
and more...
ang sarap nito promise!

where pooh is =D

my purse... love it!
rain and summer love this bell - it makes them sing JINGLE BELLS =D
madami to. eto lang na-capture ko
my cuddly bear =D
vain!


i know na surprise din kayo guys at the end of the surprise party but well, i admire your unity. love you all!

btw, i forgot to take a picture of the cake...sayang =C

thanks to you: karlo, janine, marites, robelyn, bien, christopher, mark, lei ann, joanna, aleey, ria, liezel, mary ann, clarice, divine, abigael, allen, edilaine, edilyn, monique, chrysolite, abigail, karla, jamine, kristiana, mara eunice, kim, joe marie, mara richelle, darryl, sherivin, claire anne, eunice, kevin, marah, ryan, jennelyn, celestine, shine, roxanne, anjelo, noreene, sarah, terry. love you all guys!

nido

love ko ang mga NIDO commercial. its like a link to my past, during my childhood kasi, NIDO kid din ako kaya love ko ang NIDO. but lately, na-turn off ako sa latest commercial nila featuring Kris Aquino and Bimby. not that i don't like the setting or the persons involved in the commercial ( i like Kris Aquino of course. i even collect her magazines - the K mag). ang nairita lang ako yung last part na kris was asking bimby the name of the object/ thing that she was holding. para sa akin kasi, the competence displayed by bimby was not appropriate for a three year old boy. sinabi pa man din ni kris sa end nang commercial na...see the difference. well i don't think i like the difference that i saw....

with that, here are some pointers about changes ages three to six kids undergo from the book the Smart mom's guide to raising your pre-schooler, the book that i am currently engrossed with right now. though there is no clear-cut age for these milestones to occur, i supposed that a three year old knows what is basic of these milestone...

* kids exhibit self-help skills such as dressing, feeding, washing and managing bathroom needs
* imagination is high
* they can follow instructions. in the same way, they can communicate better, and in fact, they like to tell stories
* friendships and social skills develop, and they begin to learn to share
* they learn to explore, and so they become less detached
* with their heightened sense of curiosity, they tend to have several questions, but they can be reasoned with
* older preschoolers begin to be more competetive

sana lang NIDO commercial will focus on quality and reality. i know kris aquino is kris aquino, kaso hindi naman sya ang umiinom ng gatas eh. yung anak nya.....ayan, nabuhay na naman ang ka-oc-ocan ko =D

Friday, April 15, 2011

mogu

can't help it... mula ng ipakilala sya ni rose sa akin, na inlove na ako sa kanya. madalas ko syang hinahanap...thanks rose for letting us meet. U're an angel! =D

ang mogu-mogu

fave ko ang lychee!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

melon

other name is cantaloupe. love na love namin ni allan ang melon. at dahil dyan, gusto kong ipamana sa kids ko ang love na yun. since ayaw ni rain ng juice na may "bits", at dahil summer, at dahil mura ang melon ngayon, i decided to make a melon ice candy for them. ang problema, naloloka ako sa kaka analyze kung paano naging mas malasa ang melon juice ng BSU gayong pinaga piga ko naman with effort yung pulp ng melon. did they use melon powder? hmmm....


dahil dyan, napilitan akong mag-research through net. at...walang sagot sa aking mga katanungan kundi.....=D


melon FRESHNESS test: Put your finger into the bottom of the melon where the vine was attached. You should be able to push slightly inwards and when released, the melon should rebound. - so me rebound tenderness din pala sa melon (parang physical assessment lang)


GOOD source of: vitamin a, b complex, vitamin c


melons are best drunk by themselves....at, sobrang dami pala ng variety ng mga melons na ito....


sana lang me magturo sa akin kung paano mapapalasa ang melon bago mabulok tong 6 pieces na binili ko =D


ang melon =D



Wednesday, April 6, 2011

pusa

on my 7th day as a house manager....

nakatulog ako ng tanghali. para may time management, binabad ko ang isang kilo ng pork chop sa kaselorang may tubig before ako matulog para paggising ko, ready nang iluto....

pero...tumaas ang bp ko pagkagising ko...ang pork chop!

nawala...

tinakas ng pusa ng kapitbahay!

may ganito pa lang kalakaran dito...

para tuloy gusto kong kumain ng siopao bukas...grrr....

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

ex

matagal tayong nagkasama. it's not a choice. it's a must.

school mates tayo nung college. at isa ka sa mga kinikilalang "tower of power" ng school. ako, just a mere student na nakakasabay mo sa elevator sa pag akyat sa 8th floor every morning. whenever i would see you, you would smile. seldom did we talk kaya nga nung naging muse ako ng school, i didn't expect na kilala mo pala ako.

life went on until we had our jobs. One day, when i reached home from Christian Academy of Manila (previous school na pinagturuan ko), may nag text (yes, si vice ganda lang...). natatandaan ko ang cellphone ko nun....5110 (may ganun pa kaya ngayon?-chaka ha =D). anyways, ang sabi sa message....jill! musta ka na? ms udmc ng buhay ko....nagtaka namana ko. tumawag si bestfriend sa akin after that, telling me na nagkita daw kayo, nagkumustahan at ang ending, hiningi mo number ko sa kanya.

we were both so naive then. your sweet messages made me smile pero hindi ko hinayaan na kiligin ako. bakit? kasi nandyan na si honey. natatandaan mo pa ba yung song na "bakit ngayon ka lang?" - kadiri yung song na yun pero naka-relate ako. sa mga exchange natin ng text messages, nalaman ko na college pa lang crush na crush mo na ako...that you were just waiting and praying for the right time para maging tayo kasi nung college, hindi ka pwede magka girlet dahil nanghihingi ka pa ng pera sa magulang mo at hindi mo yun pwedeng gastusin pang date. we compliment each other. carry mo ako. i mean, not all people can bend me but you were one of those. nasa yo ang lahat na magugustuhan ng isang babae sa isang lalake. looks, money, voice, sweetness, spiritual - complete package. ang problema, hindi pwede kasi may mahal akong iba.

until the time came when we broke up. i didn't know if it was right but you were my shock absorber. my crying shoulder. we became closer. we dated. masaya. perfect. but, you have to go away. you have to leave for the greener pasture. and so you went. pero before you left, nangako ka sa akin....two years. two years ka lang dun then babalikan mo ako dito sa pinas at magpapakasal tayo....

the communication went on. walang friendster, walang facebook. pero may yahoo.... one month. two months. napakatagal ng panahon. until such time na wala na akong balita sa yo. anung nangyari? your bestfriend decided to give me your password sa yahoo para may nalalaman ko kung anong update sa yo. with that, i discovered, ang dami na palang babae na nage email sa yo. i discovered na yung bestfriend mo pala ay may gusto din sa kin kaya ka nya sinisiraan (shocks...haba ng hair!). i would never forget his tag line....alam mo ba yung movie na Pearl Harbor? gusto ko maging ganun tayo.... (huwat?????!!!)

and so time time goes by...five years. you came back. you texted me...how did you know my number? hindi ko alam pero you texted me that you were back. i was with my co-workers at morong rizal at natatandaan ko pa yung kinakain namin habang binabasa ko ang message mo at natitigilan ako...mainit na sinigang na baboy (napaso ako nun kaya natandaan ko). we saw each other several days after message sent (anu daw???). akala ko, sweet pa rin tayo...tayo pa di ba? hehe....hindi na. things were very different. actually, opposite would be more appropriate. things were the opposite.

i managed to talk to you, text you, call you but you were always out of reach. ayaw mong makipag usap. busy ka. out of town. may lakad. the most unacceptable news that i got when you came back is that you went out of town with somebody for days. i got the message (hindi naman kasi ako tanga) were done. you've changed. the civilization in the US changed you. i let you go. it's the right thing to do.

i got married two years after you left. i can still hear your voice telling me, i want to go home and be with you. pag umuwi ba ako at kinuha kita, sasama ka. wag kang magpakasal. akala ko ba tayo ang magpapakasal? you said those words as if ako pa ang may kasalanan kung bakit hindi tayo ang magkakatuluyan. you were crying. i felt the pain but i can't do anything about it anymore. its you who pushed me away.

after six years, here you go again...bakit pa ba kailangan kitang makita? para makipag break ako? isn't it obvious? para makita mo kung masaya ako? i am happy. are you? para makipag-ayos? well....

were done. tama na.

Monday, April 4, 2011

cravings

there you go again...processing things that i can't decipher...- me talking to my brain. =D

so, because i have this craving but i do not know exactly what i want, my kids and i ended up with...

popcorns!

rain, at summer's back...did you notice that? hehe
masarap pala ang popcorn, especially when you eat it with these kids, while summer is convincing cookie to have one.... love you babies! =D

Sunday, April 3, 2011

hands

wish i could hold these hands forever
naalala ko tuloy yung movie dati...the hand that rocks the cradle...kadiri yun... =D
it's official. my third day as a house manager was tiring but fulfiling. masarap palang maging mommy lalo na kapag wala kang inaalalang deadlines. masarap palang magluto lalo na kapag wala kang iniisip na lesson. at, masarap makipaglaro at makipagharutan kina summer at rain lalo na kapag alam mong sila lang ang priority mo sa buhay so far... =D
summer's hand and my hand