today

i still remember the time ..........

i started at bsu, october 16, 2005. we were 8 faculty members. jane and nher- the assistant dean then, urged us (jun, aileen, gigi, and me) to go to bsu because they needed clinical instructors. we went there. the exam that we had was brain damaging. hehe. but we surpassed it. after the exam, the panel interview. i can't forget what the president asked me during the interview....why did you chose bsu? where do you live? how many hours will be your travel time? -well technically, i lied. i said it'll only take an hour for me to get at bsu, why? well because i have my own apartment at mendiola manila, near malacanang (i know, i don't really live there. i live in antipolo but i can't seem to tell them that) Mendiola is nearer than antipolo if i'll go to bulacan since i've to take the lrt, then bus. i'm used of travelling far areas in manila and it's a pleasant experience to travel to the province this time =D

i actually like the place. the green rice fields that I see when i am at nlex makes me feel refresh (until now). i like the idea that am in the province where everyone seems to be warm and polite. unlike manila, bsu grounds don't have any fast foods, fancy restaurants but i still like the place especially the green mango shake blyth and i used to buy at VOP.

the first faculty i got close with was princess. it was our duty at OPD, BMC. then, mommy dory. been close to mommy dory every since we met. princess, susan, jane, jun, aileen, dhang, jenny, blyth, nher and i. we were the faculty of CON. ang saya. walang away. walang siraan. wala lang.

when i got pregnant with rain, i decided to stop teaching so i was out for a sem. pagbalik ko, ang dami ng nabago. but, life must go on. i previously taught medical surgical nursing. then maternal and child.

i love mcn. how the sperm meets the egg. how a person became a winner in relation to a single sperm (out of millions of it) penetrating an egg. i love the subject. i love the lessons i get while teaching it. it's me. mcn is related to me.

and so it goes. been handling mcn lecture for four years until now...................

it's actually my final day of lecture at bsu. since yesterday, i tried to keep a strong facade, but, whenever i would be in front of my students, my energy goes down. the strong facade am keeping seems to be melting. i want to cry. if only i can, i want to embrace my students tight. yung tipong group hug. 

i thought that i was too brave to leave. but no. braveness sometimes can't carry it all. i don't want to go but i have to. during the past three days when it was my day-off i was sure of myself that i want to leave but when i saw them, my students, leaving them would be synonymous to breaking my heart. i so love them. sabi ko nga, am not here because of the money. am here because of my passion to teach. am here because i want to make a difference in every student's heart and life. never been attached to the students but i am now. i know that i can't hold them forever and i've to let them go and explore the world kaso when that happens, i want to see them and be with them. i want to witness them as they get their diploma, as they tell me, mam jill, i did made you proud!

to my precious students, life would never be the same without you in my life. i will be missing you forever. our "kadiri" days, our laughter that would seem like forever, i will definitely miss my days with you. i will not be miss jill without you guys. i will not be effective as you said i am, without you. you will forever be my inspiration and i will forever be your number one fan. one of the wind beneath your wings!